There are some sentences that stop you dead in your tracks when you hear them. Words that become frozen in time, waiting in some other realm for you to return to them over and over again, waiting to be replayed. ‘It’s naïve to think you can ever get rid of shame completely’ was definitely one of those sentences. It was a sentence from my therapist. It seems somewhat ironic that such intense feelings of shame, silently nurtured over decades, would ultimately lead to behaviours that breed even more shame. It wasn’t until I went to therapy that I even had a word to describe that feeling of being dirty. The kind of dirt that you can’t wash off. It was shame. Of course. I had lived with it most of my life and yet I had never been able to define it, to characterise it, to give it a name. Shame. It’s powerful. This painting is a testimony to that moment in therapy and to the shame, symbolised in the red cheeks and paper crane, that continues to live inside me.
Make an enquiry